How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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