Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
