So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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