This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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