U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
