how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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