We named our party play list daddy issues
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
