I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
