So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
