Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
