oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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