I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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