Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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