Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
