i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
