My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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