fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
