we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize