Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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