What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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