At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
