How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
