he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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