Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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