I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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