At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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