Sry I called you an 8
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
All the doctor said was why
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
