Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
