So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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