And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm at about main and main street
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
