Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
