Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Holy shit dude........stairs
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