Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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