just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
