DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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