It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
