I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
