remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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