she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
