But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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