He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
