So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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