Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
no you cant smoke seaweed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
