Please, let me fuck your mom
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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