on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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