it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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