I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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