Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
