question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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