I'm eating all of the evidence.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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