Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
