I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
