Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
