I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
