Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
