It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
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