he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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