Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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